I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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