He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Terrible idea I love it
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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