yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
