You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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