My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I think a kid would responsible me up
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
