It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
