Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
