we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
