we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
