i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
