Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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