You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
