Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
