Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
