You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
