the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
