I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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