i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
