Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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