Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
