im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
