okay pat passed out under dana's car
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
