Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I FOUND THE LEGS
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
