He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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