my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
