Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
i believe in u and ur pee
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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