We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I would ride that face into the sunset
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
