There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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