I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Why is your signature on my underwear?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
