you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
