Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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