I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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