found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
