he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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