i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
