Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
