You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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