So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
