she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
