He kissed a someone with a penis
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
