whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
