Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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