Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
