My sheets look like a crime scene.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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