i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
