Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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