DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
