From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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