so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I need water and some morals
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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