The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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