oh god the rape fog is back!
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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