wanna go halves on a baby?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
