I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize