Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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