Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I just cut my nipple shaving
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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