This gyro tastes like lonliness
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
