why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
