Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
