No awkward lesbian experiences without me
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
