True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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