how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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