bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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