The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
