My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
