OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
