i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
