Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
