she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize
