I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Sext me about skeletons
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
