Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Four minutes until I can fart!
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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