Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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