Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
