he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
