Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
