If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
